Saturday, June 23, 2007

Memo to the UPS man

This was posted on the SUDemosOnly Yahoo! group by Shannon Harrison:

Here's a little joke one of the demonstrators made up, its a memo to be sent to the UPS drivers by their management: (SUD stands for Stampin UP Demonstrator) I thought it was funny. I found it on SCS, the gal got it from someone last year so I don't know the author.
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UPS Memo

To: Drivers and Security

Date: June 20th , 2007

Subject: Crazy Stampin'Up! Ladies


This time of the year has come around once again. Stampin'Up! is releasing the New Idea Book and Catalog. Please be extremely cautious of Stampin' Up! demonstrators (SUDs) for the next two weeks.

Watch out for the following:

1. At the distribution centers, please be on the lookout for SUDs. In the past they have been known to cut fences and sneak inside covered with close to coccoa ink in hopes of blending in with the trucks.

2. The ladies have been known to run after your trucks. If they catch you and ask if you have a "package" for them, be careful with your answer. They do not take "no" for an answer. If you do not have it, just say " I will double check in the back" and turn and run as fast as you can to your truck and drive away. Do not turn back and look, just keep going until you are a safe distance away.

3. They have also been know to drive up next to you at a stop light in their mini vans and SUVs and ask if you have a package for them. Turn up your radio and pretend you cannot hear them. Do not let them approach your delivery truck at an intersection. SUDs have been know to stop traffic and throw all your packages off the trucks until they find their new Idea Book and catalog.


How to Deliver the New Idea Book and Catalog
1. Be sure you have fixed your squeaky brakes, If not - park your truck two blocks away so the SUD can not hear you coming.

2. Put in your earplugs and secure your safety glasses.

3. If you see children looking out the window, put your finger up to your lips and say "SHHHH".. They are on a "lookout" for you and are being paid to "alert" their mothers (SUDs) when they see you coming to the door.

4. Approach the front door and very quietly, set the package down in front of the door (Make sure you place it in FRONT so when she opens the door, the box will be in the way and give you a little more time to escape).

5. Back up as far as you can and reach for the doorbell, (BE READY TO RUN !!!). Ring the doorbell and make a mad dash back to your truck and drive away....DO NOT LOOK BACK !!!


The UPS corporation is informing you of this because in the past years, SUDs have been known to scream at the top of their lungs with excitement and try to tackle you with hugs for delivering their catalogs. After you have been smothered with appreciation for getting them their catalogs on time, watch out for flying packaging material as they will open up the box before you have had a chance to leave , or they have gone inside.

Best of luck to you with this mission, and remember

Let's Be Safe Out There!!!!


Now (Stacy speaking again), I'm not this bad ... I have far too much dignity to throw my arms around a strange man and give him hugs (unless it's Phil Joel, and I don't consider him to be a stranger ... strange, maybe, in a very adorable long-haired Kiwi bloke sort of way ...but I digress...). Well, okay, maybe it's not "dignity", per se. Aidan would not ever use the word "dignified" to describe his mother, and in this case, he would be accurate. But ... I must say I will be very happy when Mr. Brown shows up at my door with my catty!!

Now the bad news ... Alinghi won. Yes, it makes me nauseous just to type the words, but they did *ahem* b-e-a-t the Kiwis in the first race of the America's Cup today.

LISTEN UP, KIWIS: THAT HAD BETTER BE IT FOR THE LOSING, DIG??? THERE WILL BE NO MORE SHAME HEAPED UPON THE HEADS OF KIWIS AND KIWI-WANNABES AROUND THE GLOBE. SAVVY??? And yes, I still love you ... just don't blow it, ay?

I actually started work on a layout tonight! It's from my "reading" subcategory -- we have tons of pictures of people (mostly Aidan) reading, so I've started a multi-page layout about it. Tonight I started the first 2 pages, to be titled "The Best Way to Learn How to READ ... is to have people read to you. A LOT!" Obviously these are mostly pics of Aidan sitting with folks who are reading to him, and mostly they're baby pics, with one or two older ones. Aidan could read simple words at age 3, partly because we read to him all the time, and partly because he watched Sesame Street every day. So ya gotta record that kind of thing, ya know?

Okay ... waiting on a batch of spelt bread to be done in the bread machine. I'm allergic to wheat, so spelt is about the only kind of bread I can have. My dad gave us his old bread maker about a month ago, and I only just found a decent bread machine recipe for spelt bread. The last two batches I made didn't rise well (I was trying to go by the "whole wheat" recipe in the bread machine booklet), but I'm trying a new recipe tonight, and it's risen beautifully! Now if it will only NOT fall!!

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