Saturday, January 03, 2009

Deeeeeeeep breaths ...

I am in panic mode. I found out today that my son's school (private, Christian) has a serious budget shortfall because their controller made some incredibly bad choices (he has since been fired), and that one of the ideas they're tossing around for fixing this is to close the high school, effective the year my son is a senior (i.e., it would be closed at the end of his junior year). I am so upset about this I could throw up! This is THE PERFECT school for Aidan in so many ways, and honestly, I can't see him fitting in well anywhere else. And besides, to do that to a kid their senior year?

So I am trying very hard to pray and just trust God about it. We will definitely be attending the meeting the school will be having about it (and voicing our very strong support for the high school!). But in the meantime I am really struggling not to just fall apart about this! Aidan doesn't know about it, and I know he would be totally devastated if he were to find out (especially if they were to actually DO it). Did I mention that we love this school? I mean, we have poured so much money into this school, made our commitment financially, spiritually, emotionally, and I feel like the school has a commitment to us to do everything possible to educate our son and allow him to graduate from this school.

I confess I feel like a rotten Christian. I really should just dump all this on God and let Him do His will. But being a control freak, that's pretty hard for me. And I believe that He also expects us to do our part, not to just sit back and hope for the best, as it were. He did give us voices to speak with, to let our opinions and hopes be heard. If, in the end, God has a reason for the high school to be closed, then so be it -- His ways are higher than my ways, and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. But if there isn't a really good reason for this high school to close, then I'm praying with everything I've got that they WILL NOT close Aidan's school. If you're so inclined, I would really appreciate your prayers, too! I need peace about it, because I have been just paralyzed by anger and worry all day.

So, yeah, I didn't get any crafting done today. I did go to the grocery store, and we did get the Christmas stuff taken down, but that's about all the useful stuff I've managed to pull myself together long enough to do.

Anyway, that's all I have for today. It's 8:00pm and I could go to bed right now, but I hate going to bed that early unless I'm sick. I have GOT to pull out of this horrible anxiety! God IS in control ... I'm just really, really having a hard time dealing with this.


Niki said...

We faced a similar situation with Kyle's school a couple of years ago. The backers decided to pull out and close the school. An investor group, pulled together from parents, staff and friends, managed to not only keep the school going, but made significant improvements. The first year, their enrollment was the same as under the previous management, and the second year, it increased.

Hang in there, attend the meetings and have faith!


Jamie said...

I'm sorry to hear about the school situation. That stinks. Being a fellow control freak, I get how hard it is to turn it over and get on with life. You're right, we do have to do our part (I think), but then the hardest part is letting go of it after that.

I will keep you (and the school) in my prayers.

BTW, knitting is very theraputic. >:)