Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Explanation ... apology ... whatever

Okay, I feel like I owe my readers an explanation or apology or something for not being faithful lately. So, I apologize, and here's my (probably lame) explanation:

1) I am in serious Craft Slump mode. At the moment I'm not the least bit interested in setting foot in my craft loft. It's not so much a loss of mojo as a loss of interest. I actually found myself thinking the other day that I might just sell all that scrapbooking stuff and go back to sticking photos in albums, or maybe just have everything printed out in Kodak/Snapfish/whatever photo books (this was after doing one for my MIL for Mother's Day). It's SO easy, it looks so cool, and ... I don't know. I'm just not "there" with paper crafting right now. I hope this is just a phase!

2) I have been spending (way too much) time doing family research. It's like an addiction, it kinda feeds into my collector's mentality. I'm collecting ancestors! lol No, really what I'm trying to do is collect information about my ancestors. All I can get. I don't know if it's sad and pathetic to do that or if it's a valuable family service. Yesterday I received an obituary I had ordered for my grandmother's maternal grandmother. She had committed suicide after being sent to what we would now call a "state hospital," but what back then was lovingly and tactfully called a Hospital for the Insane. In this very tasteful and loving tribute to her, they talked about her going bonkers (not using that term, of course), about her being "convicted" of being insane, and then proceeded to give details of how she had hung herself in her "cell". It was horrible and depressing and I really wish I hadn't read it! I wasn't aware that having emotional problems was a crime. And based on what my mother told me about her (the g-g-g grandmother's) situation, her husband drove her to it. What made her "insane" was that she was suicidal in the first place. (And probably OCD -- her husband beat their children, which was often considered "normal" in those days, but not to her!) So they ship her off to a "Hospital for the Insane" where she sank into even more despair and hung herself. Apparently her husband spent the rest of his life trying to apologize and make amends to his children for his behavior and her death. Some forgave him, some didn't. So ... among all the wonderful stories of loving, adored farmers, ministers, store-owners, etc., comes this one. Is it something I want to preserve? I'm certainly not going to let Aidan know about it ... he doesn't need that "legacy" hanging over his head if he ever gets that depressed. Thorns among the roses, I guess.

I'm not even sure why I told YOU this, except that I'm a writer and I have a penchant for the dramatic.

Anyway, in addition to info gathering, I've been photo scanning (the old family photos). That in itself is going to take awhile.

So ... I haven't gone away, but I'm kinda on a crafting "sabbatical" -- unintended, but there ya go. I did make my mother's Mother's Day card (haven't scanned it). I've also got an unfinished layout on the craft desk waiting to be completed. And I did a digi layout for the SHINE group, but I'm going to have to tweak it a bit before I post it here.

I'm also going to close out the SHINE group, or transfer ownership to someone else. It was going along fine for awhile, but I can't get any participation at all now. I don't know where everyone has gone, or why, and I know people get busy, but I think my challenges/projects are good and worth pursuing, so I'm not sure what's up. I don't want to keep putting time and effort into it if no one else is going to participate but me, so ... it's time to move on. Someone also started a Christian paper crafting social network (very much like Paper Craft Planet, only Christian-focused), which may have drained off some of my participation. So, I'll just point people there and go on with life.

Okay, that's all for now. I promise I'll be back, just maybe not as frequently as I have been. And then I'll get through this phase and I'll be back as regularly as ever. That's just how I (and other ADHD people) function.

Grace and peace until next time!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You don't need to apologize. We all go through phases in life. I will still visit your blog no matter what. Researching your history is very worthwhile, too. You can always write here about that. I find that stuff interesting and always think I want to work on that.

Sorry about the Shine group. I am a part of it but just don't seem to have time or remember to check it out. Sorry!

Lynn MaGill

Melb. said...

Oh sweetie! Sorry about the Shine group. Don't be impulsive and get rid of your scrappin' stuff. I go through those phases too. The thing is that it's always there when you want to use it. Maybe go through it clean out what you most likely will not use. About the unfortunate legacy, it is what it is. It is a part of your family history but it does not define you. Yeh, we may be able to point to it for explanations in our own lives but "we don't live by explanations, we live by promises. Promises are God's medicine for the heart, and they bring healing to the inner person." I am quoting this, for the second time today, from Warren Wiersbe's book, Life Sentences.